let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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