I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
