Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
foreskin is a definite game changer
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
