why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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