Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
