I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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