He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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