Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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