i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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