when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
