I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Michael Bay diarrhea
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The Olympian is in my bed
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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