see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
When are your genitals available?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
