Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
