you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
