theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
