paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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