Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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