her vagine was all disorganized.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
