I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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