everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Randomize
