If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
