Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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