South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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