But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
