i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
