Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
