i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
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