Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
