So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
