You made me cry and you don't even care
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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