the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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