i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize