super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
