i may or may not be watching the land before time
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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