i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
