Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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