At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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