Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize