in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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