Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
