I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Randomize