At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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