Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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