omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
