I am puke
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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