I think my fart just growled at me.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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