I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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