dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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