Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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