Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
