it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
