things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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