"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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