Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
