Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
