I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
