Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
